Love, through my eyes

From the dawn of mankind the stories of unconditional love and sacrifice have flourished under the nurturing of both man and woman alike. From the world renowned Shakespearean Romeo and Juliet to Layla and Majnun from south East Asia, every culture throughout time has had a tragic tale of unattainable love.

Having been requested to write a post on something along the lines of “what’s love” or “the definition of love”, and once again like my previous post I am struggling to layout what love is or how one should love and be loved. In an ever growing materialistic world, surely unconditional love has become an utmost rare thing, as rare as a majestic white peacock. How do people love? Do people confuse lust, the need of companionship, or need to be with someone for social reasons, with love? However sad this may sound, I believe that to be so.

The world’s population stands at 7.125 Billion and there are bound to be a handful of couples out there naturally, who have devoted their entire lives, wealth, souls to each other unconditionally, who live for each other’s breath, sight and smile. One day I hope to meet somebody like that and thus put the question of “how is love defined” to rest.

And like my previous post, I shall try to express what I believe love to be through my experiences and emotions.

Rewinding my life back around 3 years, I met the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. We soon became friends and soon became much more. One of her characteristics which I fell in love with instantly was, and still is, compassion. Compassion for not just those who she knew but towards those she didn’t. Her kindness, generosity, strength, selflessness, honesty, these traits where the basic foundations upon which a relationship could be built. And one was over time.

There is remarkable beauty in her every action, her dress sense, her dimples, they way she drinks her coffee, to even how she gets irritated and angry when I go to MMA. Her every quality has become unique and marvellous and many a time she has left me a little short of breath in awe.

She has become a priority in my life, and I believe love to be a selfless act. My needs seem trivial compared to that of hers. If I can someway somehow make her smile, give her what she wants or help her in the time of need, even if I have to compromise, I shall make my best efforts to do that. By helping her I feel as if I am helping myself.

The best parts of my day are the ones spent around her, I could win the lottery today yet the best feeling wouldn’t be winning the lottery, it would be sharing my good news. She is most definitely the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I sleep.

Of course as time goes on my feelings for her grow. I constantly find new things to love, or learn something new which I adore, find fun or just amazing. I believe love cannot be forced. It is like running water, the level rises and rises until the point it spills over whatever it is contained in. Good things cannot be pushed.

She simply is my best friend, who gives me a warm feeling, brings joy into my life, who holds on tight to me through dark days, who makes me a better person, who simply loves me for who I am with my faults.

Now I believe I am in love with this extraordinary lady, unfortunately, I wasn’t given an instruction manual on how to love someone, so I do my best, with the best of intentions and a pure heart. That’s what counts in the eyes of God I believe, good intentions. For as long as I live, I shall keep trying to do the best I can and give her the best of me that I can.

Love should come naturally, and I believe one should try to show love to another the best way they can, and if it’s true, it will bloom and blossom. Like how a mother loves a child; without conditions.

Above all else love should be effortless. It should come with ease, bringing delight to those in love and those associated with them.

Maybe love doesn’t have a definition? Maybe love is what you make of it? It is how you feel? The special bond two people share? I have expressed what I believe love to be, maybe you could share your story with me…

Image sourced from: http://www.damncovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Love-Above-All.jpg

The value of friends

Friendship is an interesting emotional state. It is a bond of great mutual affection, lacking of sexual relation, but none the less can possibly lead to one. It is relationship that every person craves, to avoid loneliness, possibly? Someone to help you in a time of need, someone you can share ideas and thoughts with or just someone to sit with quietly on a bench somewhere.

The idea of friendship has also drastically changed over the past few decades and possibly with it, its values. The introduction of social media and mobile phones has resulted in people being able to meet people without actually meeting or sharing a physical connection. People claiming to have three hundred plus friends or a thousand followers on various social networks, the question begs to be asked; are they really your friends or just names and faces?

Jennifer Aniston, an American actress and the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S star, is quoted saying “Where would you be without friends? The people to pick you up when you need lifting? We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and sibling to your friends – your own chosen family. There’s nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing.” So evidently she is placing important value in friendship.

As I sit here writing this 3:51am, thinking deeply, I can’t actually explain what the value of friendship is. I’m sure Google has the answer somewhere or there is a definition in a dictionary, but surely such a complex emotion can’t conform to a few words or a sentence? I guess it means different things to different people. Maybe I’ll share my ideas of what friendship is and who my friends are and see what comes of this post.

I have different social circles, friends from childhood, friends from university, and colleagues at work and so on. All of course are my friends, however, our different shared experiences have resulted in a slightly different form of friendship with each.

My best friend would be the lady I love. She is simply AMAZING. A supportive, dependable, and thoughtful individual who listens and is compassionate, who I can share my sad moments and my happy moments, and above all loves me for who I am, all faults included. She is the one person I can’t go a day without speaking to; the person I want to share the most boring parts of my day with, she is just simply someone who makes my life better no matter what. Of course there is a lot more I could write about her and I mean A LOT more, I shall leave it at that for now (I’ll do a separate post!). But the value she holds in my life is very significant, her moods, her attitudes, our relationship bares a lot of weight on my moods and attitudes etc. An example being when she was ill I could not help but to be worried even though she was far away.

My other friends (no disrespect indented) share some if not all of the characteristics mentioned.

“The Musketeers” as they are known are some amazing people in my life. Simply put a non judgemental, genuine, honest, somewhat care free and accepting kind of folk. How they came to be I am not sure but they have become very highly valued. What makes them so valued are the traits mentioned. It is never a chore or effort to talk to them, conversation flows (to some extent). We are, what I believe, an odd bunch that have gelled together or come together like jigsaw pieces perfectly.

The friends from childhood and other add ons over time are a complicated bunch, generally unreliable, can be irritating, highly abusive, those kinds of mates that you stay out late with and generally sit around playing cards doing absolutely nothing productive. The guy who will rescue when your car breaks down, the guy you’ll have a heart to heart with purely because you’re on a long drive home and everyone else is asleep. Those are the ones you would have fights with but be back to normal a few days later. The ones who will tell you how it is no matter how bad it sounds. The respect factor is always there, forgiveness definitely and they share your humour but that’s it really right? Yet, here they are all these years later, decades of relationships, somewhat like a family I suppose.

And then of course there are friends who cannot be grouped. Someone you met through a friend who shares the same interests like TV shows or books or just life stories and can banter along with all day long about something totally crazy. Then there’s that person from work you have clicked with and don’t have to talk for weeks but when you do the conversation just flows like a comedy sketch. The list goes on.

I’ve described a wide variety of people with a wide range of qualities but the one trait they all share is one of acceptance. They accept me for who I am. I have met people who I have considered friends and they have then disappeared out of my life or just become acquaintances. Then there are those people in my life who claim to be my friends and have alternative agendas or are just there because they have nothing to do. Maybe they don’t place the same values I place in friendship or maybe they don’t consider me a friend, I do not know.

I don’t know, friendship is a complicated emotion that affects a person physically and emotionally. Does it really have a value or is it priceless?

Its late (4:01am), most of my friends are sound asleep; the love of my life is sound asleep. Leave a comment or share your thoughts? How does one value friendship, can it be put into a fixed sentence?